so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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