Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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