You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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