So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I AM VODKA MAN
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
