The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
