She is in my trunk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
