Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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