oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
