Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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