Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
there is puke in my bra ... again
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