its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
