Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
