she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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