I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
