Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
