Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize