Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
