I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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