You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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