..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
