Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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