let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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