You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
