matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
