Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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