Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
