Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
