i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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