just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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