just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
