It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
