why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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