I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
