Say something about gay babies.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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