Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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