I'm going to jail i love you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
