Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
