well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
