so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
