he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize