I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
