RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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