we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
