We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
