3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize