omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
