We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
