..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
