I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
