Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
kristin has been a bad kristin
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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