Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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