i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have tasted many bathrooms
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
