I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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