Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
