I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
