I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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