I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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