Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
