At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
