I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
