so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
