Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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