Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
