Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
