I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
